I sent this as a mail but no-one replied so either it didn’t work or nobody’s interested and now I’m trying to do a blog for the first time-
I’m reclining in a bamboo hammock in Kev and Jayne’s garden. This morning a monitor lizard swam by-there’s a sort of lake the other side of the wall. Sometimes they will come onto the lawn. Kev and Jayne reckon the biggest they’ve seen by the privet was about 6 feet long but the one we saw and photographed was only about four feet.
There’s a bird they call the Gow wow and it has a whistling call that starts off loud and gets louder and higher in pitch and more insistent until it feels like you’ve got a bird bursting out of the top of your head and it’s a lovely sound in the afternoon but they bloody do it at four in the morning an all.
We went to the local shopping mall today and there were people nudging each other and giggling at me. I think it was good natured because I smiled at them and they smiled back. Jayne says it’s because I’m tall. We were the only westerners we saw.
We ate at the market again today and a good tip is if you’re not very good with chopsticks, keep your face away from the bowl cos if you drop your noodles, you may well splash chilli into your eye like I did.
We were on Kev and Jayne’s boat for a splashy round the lake here, the neighbours were out waving and taking pictures of us white people. It’s about 33 here now but we’re getting used to it.
Cha am is about 2 hour drive south of Bangkok and the further from the city you get, the bigger the gap between your rear bumper and the bonnet of the car behind until the traffic thins out to a comfortable 6 feet car to car.
We left the safety of Nel’s family and came out here to the beach by transit bus and the sea breeze is heavenly compared to the city. They took us to Bangkok centre and it’s so stifling and hot, the smell of the traffic and the drains hits you physically, like being force fed a nappy whilst staring at a hairdryer.
Last night we got lost on the way back to the hotel because I wanted to go the long way back. There’s a hotel called Charlie’s and a ladyboy who may or may not be Charlie himself but we’ve been past twice and he looks at me in the most disgustingly lascivious way I’d rather avoid him. I mean, I’m a liberal kind of bloke but a girl with an Adams apple and testicles shouting nice ass as I walk by with my wife! I blushed like a schoolgirl. He probably does it to wind up westerners.