Now I’m sorry but when I buy a pair of shoes, the one thing I expect them to do is to stay on my feet. I don’t want to be picking them out of rubbish bins and hedges or having to apologize to large Norwegians as I pick them out of their meatballs.
Who, in the name of all that’s holy, woke one morning and thought ‘do you know, the one thing that’s wrong with shoes is they don’t fall off your feet. I’d like shoes much better if I had to grip them with my toes?’
I’ve got cramp in the toes that haven’t locked into a talon and there are livid red welts where the thong has been chafing down through flesh and sinew. The only way flip flops could be made any less comfortable would be to impregnate the soles with shards of glass, which is exactly how it feels when a twig or a stone gets trapped there anyway. Truly I wasn’t expecting this maiming, I was just getting bothered by sand in my tennis shoes. I’d rather trek the Gobi desert in trainers than wear flip flops for another minute.
Nel says to tell people if you can download viber or what’s app you can text or call online for free, a bit like Skype without. having to see how tanned we are